You went up.
That is the thing to say first, because you have spent a long time telling this story as though the shameful part is that you will not go up any more, and the actual center of it is that you did.
You stood in that line with your heart going, and when it got to you, you said the thing out loud to a stranger, and the stranger prayed with everything they had, and you felt something in the room and you were not imagining it.
And you went back to your seat and you sat down and you were shaking slightly, in a good way.
And then you drove home.
And somewhere on the ring road, about eleven minutes in, it came up through the floor of you. Not doubt. Something much more physical than doubt. A kind of dropping.
You pulled into the retail park and sat with the engine off for a while.
That was two years ago and you have not stood in a prayer line since. Not once. You still go, you still sing, you are still the person who will pray for somebody else at the drop of a hat. But when they open the front, something in your chest closes and you stay exactly where you are.
Now hear me before we go one word further.
I am not telling you off.
There is nothing here to repent of. You did not lose your faith on that ring road and I am not going to tell you that the thing you asked for has not come because of what happened in that car. That is not what happened and it is not what is happening now.
I am saying I know about the retail park. That is all.
What He does with the ones that bend
I am going to be careful here, because there is a version of this that would send you back into that line tonight on somebody else's enthusiasm, and if it went the same way I would be the one who did that to you.
So I am not going to tell you what is going to happen. I do not know. Nobody does.
Here is what is actually written, about a person in exactly your condition.
A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench: he shall bring forth judgment unto truth.Isaiah 42:3
Look at the two pictures, because both of them are about something that has already been damaged.
A bruised reed is a reed that has been stepped on. It still stands, mostly. It will not take much more.
Smoking flax is a wick that has gone out and is still trailing smoke. There is heat in it and no flame, and the ordinary thing to do with a wick like that is pinch it, because it is producing nothing and it smells.
And the prophecy says He does neither. Not to the reed and not to the wick.
So I want to turn now and speak this over you, in whatever chair you are in.
You are not being pinched out. Not one day, not when the fire comes back, not conditional on standing in any line. Right now, exactly as you are, bent and smoking, you are the specific thing that verse says He will not do away with, and it was written about the Servant's manner rather than about anybody's performance. That is not my kindness. That is what is written, and the Holy Spirit is the one who sets a written line down in a real person in a real week.
Now, what actually happened on that ring road?
Not a loss of faith. I want to be precise about this because two years of calling it the wrong name has cost you something.
What happened is that you spent everything you had in that line. All of it. You put the whole of your want into one moment in front of a stranger, and when the adrenaline came down eleven minutes later, there was nothing left in the account, and a person in that condition feels like they have been dropped even when nobody has dropped them.
That is not backsliding. That is what it costs to hope in public with your whole chest.
And this next part is settled rather than pending, so hear it. You are held whether or not you ever stand in another line, and the holding is not a payment for turning up. The word says he shall not break and he shall not quench, and both of those are promises about His conduct rather than about your recovery, and it is His Spirit who carries a written line into a real chest that has learned to close.
You are safe either way. That is the only honest thing that helps and it happens to be true.
So we are not going to send you back into that line.
Not tonight and maybe not this year, and there is no timetable and nobody is watching the clock on this except you.
We are going to put you somewhere that does not depend on whether you ever stand there again.
If your hands do not want to open, that is what usually happens, and it is not a failure. Two years of a chest closing on cue will do that.
So let this be said over you before you open them. You are a reed He does not break and a wick He does not pinch, and that has been true through every service you sat out; Isaiah 42 was written long before that ring road, and the Holy Spirit is the one who takes what is written and sets it down in a real room, in a real week, with the doors open to the light.
And no change of feeling is required to make this true. This is not about producing courage in a chair. It is about somebody who spent everything in one line finding out what was underneath the spending.
Declare this over yourself
Say these with your hands open. You are in Christ and Christ is in you, and that was as true on that ring road as it is now; the authority in these words is His, delegated to you and carried in His Name, and it is His Spirit who puts what is written into a real mouth. And however He answers about the thing you took up that line, and He answers in His own way and His own manner, you are held the whole time He is doing it.
- Drive home from the last time, you are not prophecy and you do not get to plan my week. Isaiah 42 says the bruised reed is not broken and the smoking flax is not quenched, and both of those describe how He conducts Himself rather than how I am doing.
- Chest that closes when they open the front, you are not shame and you are not cowardice, and I am not taking orders from you in the name of Jesus. The Holy Spirit knows exactly what it cost me to hope in public, and He has not asked me to pay it again tonight.
- Lord, You do not pinch out a wick that has gone to smoke, and Your word says You bring forth judgment unto truth. My hands are open in this chair today, and I am held whether I ever stand in that line again or not.
Isaiah 42:3
This message is free, and always will be. There is nothing to unlock, nothing to subscribe to, and nothing you owe for having received it.